Today’s topic for Blog Week is Write a dating profile for one of your past finished projects. The point of the topic is to experiment with a different way of describing a finished object, but as with yesterday’s topic, when I sat and listened to my projects, and yarn stash, I heard something a little bit different. May I introduce to you Mr. Techno Ombre, a skein of Bernat Super Value:
“So, this is hard for me, I don’t have a lot of relationship experience. My last relationship was with a crafter who was a total tease. She swatched me half a dozen times but always left my heart unraveled. I’m looking for someone who can appreciate me for my acrylic charms – and yeah, I get it, I’m not sleek or silky or kitten soft like some posh fibers out there. But I am a workhorse yarn, I show my colors, and I won’t shrivel up and felt at the first sign of hot water. I’m not looking for the perfect fairy tale pattern to be knit into, I just want to be loved for what I am. I’m good with kids and pets, and despite my synthetic content, I don’t squeak on the needles. Speaking of needles, I’m not looking for an uptight knitter with small needles, I prefer to be laid back with gauge, so if you let me do my thing then I promise I’ll be gentle on your hands. If you’re looking for some fancy dreamboat yarn with a lot of sparkle or halo, then I’m not your skein, but if you want a steady commitment from a simple, honest yarn, then I hope you’ll give me a chance.”
Blogger’s note: I really do love this skein of yarn, and do plan to use him in an upcoming project, despite his lost faith in my commitment to the relationship. I tried to explain that it’s not him, it’s me, but we all know how well that speech usually goes over with a lover that feels jilted. I hope one day soon we can reconcile and have a happy, productive relationship.